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The Dreaded Talking Stage: All Your Burning Questions Answered by Damisola Sulaiman Hello, Love

You don’t really know someone until you know them for a long time. So, at first, you have no idea if the person you’re talking to is a player.

Look, the talking stage doesn’t necessarily have to be all bad. Those early weeks of feeling each other out can https://thoogdee.724friends.com/2023/02/10/excuses-people-have-used-to-get-out-of-a-bad-date/ be filled with crushy bliss, low-pressure hangs, and plenty of opportunity to flex your wittiest banter over hours of carefully crafted texts. Even if you’ve never heard of the “talking stage,” there’s still a not-small chance you’ve been in one. The apparently Gen-Z-coined phrase is a vague descriptor for an early pseudo-relationship full of texting and talking—and maybe even full-blown dates and hookups—but no commitment. Think of it as a pre-dating phase, one that might precede a more serious relationship, orrrrr one that can stretch on into indefinite situationship territory. If that sounds confusing and frustrating, that’s because it is! The talking stage is intentionally ambiguous, often emotionally exhausting, and, sorry, no one is safe from it.

  • Don’t try to push for commitment or a relationship or even too much of his time, too fast because then it won’t feel organic.
  • The best part of the talking stage is that you get to build a solid connection that helps you figure out if you want to date.
  • The person that you’re dating might prefer just to check in every now and then, and that’s not a bad thing.
  • A Healthy Journal was born out of passion, the passion for food, but mainly for a healthy life.
  • It’s also important if you’re the one who’s more into the talking stage than the other person.

There’s nothing more nerve-wracking than showing your cards and asking a crush if they want to be exclusive. Sometimes it doesn’t work out, but more often than not, asking these questions can help you get on the same page and start a beautiful romance. It’s helpful to know your crush’s dating history — or at least the headlines. You don’t want to be a rebound relationship, so it’s good to find someone who’s ready for a new partnership, not someone who just broke off an engagement. It might sound weird to talk about kids, marriage, and career right now, but you should have a general idea of what your maybe-bae wants out of life.

#4 Read his body language

Sure, opposites attract, but you’ve got to agree on the important stuff with your crush. Whether it’s politics, religion, or your personal ethics, make sure your chat buddy has a similar worldview. Shape is part of the Dotdash Meredith publishing family. Here are three things you should do during the talking stage.

Another perk of the talking stage is that it really lets you suss out someone’s intentions and whether they are genuinely interested in you, and in getting married. Going out on dates while you are in this stage is a great way https://99brides.com/brazilian-brides/ to spend quality time with someone new without committing to them exclusively. Depending on your preferences, this factor may mean more to you than others. If you are seeking a romantic partner that is confident and comfortable making and solidifying plans, you will want your partner to take initiative at least as much as you do. By defining your wants and needs with prospective partners, you will also save time and avoid getting stuck with someone who can’t or won’t meet those needs. Being clear when you are first getting to know one another can save you from heartbreak or feeling let down later on in the relationship. Because everyone is unique, they will likely have different thoughts and preferences about when they feel comfortable committing to a relationship.

Key Takeaways: How to Talk to a Guy with Confidence

Letting them into your “world” will give them a chance to see you in your element. Maybe they’ll see something about you that they wouldn’t have seen in a regular restaurant setting. Texting may be more convenient, but talking on the phone will give you more of an opportunity to get to know someone better. Talking to someone on the phone requires a level of focus that you don’t necessarily need to have when you’re just texting. “You can even take notes to help you remember small nuances about them that will help you do something special for them down the line,” Cole says. It might not be for a couple of months that you become an official item. If you don’t say anything, you both could be feeling that way for much longer without knowing how the other feels.

But it will save you both a lot of time and heartache, and will leave you free to pursue the kind of relationship you’re actually looking for. Some of the frustration brought out by the talking stage is definitely a product of the time. Or when you’re looking at their Facebook profile and feel as though you know everything about them and their aunt’s best friend? Well, this can accelerate things, and as Dr West puts it “make us feel as if the ‘relationship’ is more solid than it really is”. This makes the talking stage feel quite ambiguous, because one person might feel like they know the other intimately, while that person barely thinks about you — or vice versa. I’m sure we’ve all experienced the long, drawn out talking stage at some point in our life.

If you can’t wait to have kids but they don’t want any, that should be an immediate deal-breaker . Look, no one is super excited about having a mature conversation about relationships, especially if it involves putting your heart on the table. But it’s essential for your mental health and your decision-making process, according to Devonish. It’s also important if you’re the one who’s more into the talking stage than the other person. You want this guy to know that you checked out his social media pages, but you don’t want to come across as a stalker.

The talking stage is when you’re getting to know someone and aren’t exclusive or in a relationship yet. After all, it’s the early stages of a potential relationship. If you make it a point to stay present and just get to know someone new, you may find that dating is a much more enjoyable process. If you want to make the most out of this stage, make sure you establish a balanced dynamic early on. As Jane Reardon, licensed therapist and founder of RxBreakup, tells Bustle, mutuality is key. “Make sure you’re not doing most of the heavy lifting to keep the relationship going,” she says.

You’d be hard-pressed to find a more straightforward conversation starter than a dog. Everyone loves their pets, and he is probably glad to tell you about his pup. There’s no doubt that approaching the opposite sex can be crazy nerve-wracking. Sweaty palms, an elevated heart rate, and flutters in your stomach are all your body’s way of responding to the discomfort. Thankfully, there are also some proven ways to reduce stress so you can feel calmer and collected before a conversation. What if you could approach a guy with effortless confidence and ease that leaves him craving to get to know more? Make sure to ask appropriate questions to build a meaningful conversation.

There’s been a growing trend on TikTok of users sharing their own rules for the talking stage. While the talking stage is similar to dating here’s a look at how the talking stage is different. Love comes in all forms and doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic or sexual in nature to be satisfying. You can get a lot more from your friends than from someone who wants to drag out the talking stage for months on end. Also, your friends and family have a clearer outlook on situations you may find yourself in when it comes to the talking stage. They know you better than most and, as such, can help you navigate the potentially treacherous waters of the talking stage in ways you might’ve been unable to see as the person stuck in this stage. Listen to them and take their advice and input to heart.

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